March 20 2020
A week ago about 10% of the people on the trains were wearing masks. Now,10% aren’t wearing masks , and the other 90% are.
I’m not sure if the media is having a field day and fear mongering, as they do so well, or if this is indeed a legit reason for us to run inside our homes, and lock the doors.
As a recovering conspiracy theorist, I’ve never felt more inclined to relapse.
I ask people everyday to rate their “nervous level” between 1 and 5. Interesting enough, I only get 1s and 4s as answers. Either people are legitimately scared, or not scared at all.
One of my coworkers said today that he’s prepared and willing to catch the virus. He said “it’s inevitable”. I asked him why he’s still coming into work and he replied that he has “three kids to put through college.”
So from my understanding, his kid’s education is more important than my health.
On the nervous scale, I categorize myself as a “1” person. I’m not very nervous at all. I am very very interested in how this all carries out.
Could this be the beginning of the end? Was George Orwell right?
What I am very nervous about is my mom returning back from the Dominican Republic tomorrow. I tried to convince her to stay out there longer until this all blows over, but she didn’t have enough of her medication to last. Before I could google a way to get it to her, she had made up her mind that she’s coming back, and when my mom makes up her mind, that’s it.
March 21st 2020
Today, like all of the days recently, was a day of uncertainty. I woke up at about 10am to the sounds of my mom and sister returning home with yet another fresh shipment of groceries.
I definitely think we’re guilty of stockpiling.
After catching up with my mom some more, I went to the bank to take the money out of my savings account.
It’s a joint savings account I have with my girlfriend, and it was my girlfriend’s idea. I thought this move was a little paranoid, and dramatic. To my surprise, there we’re a lot of people at the bank taking out money. I overheard someone asking the teller if the rumors were true of potential problems with the bank’s computers.
I thought it was pretty obvious this was all a paranoia snowball effect, but before leaving, I thought it would be wise for me to take the money out of my personal savings account as well.
After a couple rounds of video games, I thought I’d take advantage of the bonuses available on my courier app. I do courier work for extra cash and recently it’s been a goldmine, busier than ever.
I even got a “Shelter in Place” exemption letter so I can present it to the police if the situation occurred. There’s something scary about having to show a paper stating I have permission to be outside.
There are a lot of conspiracy theories floating around. A lot of them specifically refer to tomorrow as “the big day”. I know Governor Cuomo’s “Matilda’s Law” is supposed to go into effect tomorrow. Matilda’s Law sounds a lot like Marshall Law.
This is all pretty scary.
March 22nd 2020
I started staying at my girlfriend’s house today, as a safety precaution. Since I’m still going to work, and I love my mom.
I did a lot of running around and food shopping, so I wasn’t able to catch the much anticipated Governor Cuomo speech.
During the De Blasio speech I was able to catch, they repeatedly mentioned cracking down on social distancing. This all feels like a weird dream, but every time I hear the Mayor and the police commissioner say they won’t hesitate to question people and break up small groups of even two, I get spooked.
Is this real? What hell is going on?
In high school I was obsessed with conspiracy theories. Anyone who’s smoked a little pot and surfed the web late at night, has stumbled upon a conspiracy theory or two. From my understanding, whether it’s reptilians that live in underground tunnels, or the Rockefeller family, the overall thesis of every conspiracy theory, is control.
Boy are we being controlled.
There’s been a lot of talk recently, about how the federal government isn’t stepping up to the plate. I even heard rumors that those twelve hundred dollar checks are no longer happening. I can’t help but take notice that Trump’s way of handling this so far is definitely hurting his chances of getting re-elected. But who knows.
Who knows anything anymore.
March 23rd 2020
Rode the MTA bus for free this morning. The front portion of the bus was blocked off, and customers were told to get on and off through the back door.
Pretty weird.
After going down into the train station I was greeted by the front page headline of the AM New York newspaper in all red stating “Go Home!”
When arriving at work my Forman told me that two doctors at the Hospital have tested positive for Coronavirus.
The city is significantly more empty now. Less people out in general. It’s like 6am on a Sunday all day long.
Less people on the trains. Even less people in the hospital.
Pretty slow news day, compared to how it’s been recently.
Repeatedly on the news they urge New Yorkers to stay inside or be prepared to be questioned by the police.
The city officials seem to get slightly more aggressive as the days pass.
It’s weird to see how uncomfortable everyone is with spending time with themselves. It’s weird to see how quickly people get “bored”, and don’t know what to do with their time. I feel like this emphasizes how much of our lives is circulated around our jobs.
Finally, we’ve been given the opportunity to actually have some time to ourselves, and we’re freaking out. It’s like if we’re not told what to do, then we don’t know what to do.
Iran is the second country to accuse America of creating, and using Covid-19 as a bio weapon against their population. China was the first country to make this accusation.
I sold two bikes today. On my way back home on my free bus ride, there was a dispute between the bus driver and a passenger. Immediately I felt like this was inappropriate. Now just isn’t the time for bad energy between people.
It’s never an appropriate time to argue or be rude, but these days are unique. I think that explains why they made up so quickly, and were polite to each other within a span of five minutes.
This made me question how different life will be after this is all done.
How will this change our communities and how we interact with each other.
How this will affect us all financially, and in every other way.
March 24 2020
Trains were significantly more “crowded” this morning. People are definitely not keeping their mandatory distance of 6 feet, myself included. There just isn’t enough space on a train cart for us to practice social distancing.
I’m starting to feel like my coworker.
I’m starting to accept the fact that I might contract the virus.
My stomach was a little upset this morning, and of course my first thought was “Corona!”.
I’m not even sure if an upset stomach is a symptom.
I just had my morning coffee and it could simply be just me having to take a post coffee shit.
I feel like this emphasizes the paranoia and metal strain that’s involved with going to work during times like this.
I am definitely going to work by choice. At first I definitely felt abused by being categorized as an essential worker, and being forced to go about everyday as if everything is normal. But honestly, after realizing that everyone I know is currently unemployed, having full time steady employment definitely seemed like a luxury.
March 25 2020
The MTA switched the trains schedules. There are less trains running, which means more people crammed into the trains that do arrive.
Before there was definitely some space between people, now we’re on top of each other.
30,000 cases in NY, 17,000 in NYC.
Someone died yesterday from my company, due to the virus. I never met him before, but from what I heard, he was an older guy, with respiratory issues. What really messed up my head is the fact that he was supposed to retire this year.
Everything about that situation is fucked up.
The virus keeps getting closer and closer.
My Forman mentioned to me today that they might be shutting the job down for two weeks, and we’ll all get temporary layoffs. Definitely feels like too little too late. At this point a break would be nice, but it’s obvious this decision should have been made a long time ago.
Sold another 2 bikes today. That 4 in two days. Let’s see if I can keep the streak alive.
I also attended my first “distant learning” college class today. It was surprisingly both functional & educational. Wasn’t bad at all. Only bad thing is, now I have a bunch of essays to write.
March 26 2020
Missed my bus this morning, but I didn’t mind because when it passed I saw how crowded it was inside.
The train is definitely the most crowded I’ve seen in a while. No available seats and a lot of people standing.
I feel the urge to take a break from the news. Everyday day, multiple times a day, I’m constantly taking in new information. Mayor Di Blasio press briefings, Governor Cuomo press briefing, the always entertaining President Trump press briefings. Sometimes the press conferences bleed into each other, and I find myself glued to the TV for hours. It’s all very exhausting.
I’ve even caught myself tuning into other press briefings from other states, particularly states like California, who are already under “lockdown”.
Staying tuned in is exhausting but the feeling of not being in the know is frightening.
March 27 2020
Today was my last day at work until further notice. I received a temporary layoff. My Forman said we should be out for about two weeks, or maybe longer. By now, it’s become gruesomely clear, that no one knows how long any of this is going to take.
I had the option to go to a different job site if I wanted, but I feel like that’s just being money hungry at this point.
Morally, I feel like I should have stopped going into work a long time ago. At the very beginning of this whole thing, I stressed the fact that we are the ones who will have to make the final decisions in regards to how we go about this matter. Of course we will be told “it’s safe, go to work”, the same way we heard that right after 9/11. And now we hear all those lawyer commercials on the radio.
I should be able to sustain myself with my bike flips and courier hustle. I’m not too worried about making ends meet.
March 29 2020
By now, a lot of unnormal things have become “normal”.
Everyone walking around with masks. Social distancing. Daily important press briefings. Not being able to sit down at a restaurant. Even the long line of people outside of Brooklyn hospital waiting to be tested has weirdly become normal.
Today I passed the refrigerated tractor trailer parked outside Brooklyn Hospital, where they’re storing the bodies of the people dying from the virus.
There’s nothing normal about any of this, and there’s definitely nothing normal about that.
Watching the numbers grow on TV every morning is one thing, but seeing that truck parked outside the hospital is a totally different perspective. I think as much as we like to think we understand what’s going on, we really don’t. I don’t think we’ll get a grasp on what’s going on until this it’s all over. Which leads to the infamous question, when will this all end?
March 30 2020
Sold another two bikes today.
Bike business is still booming, but I won’t be surprised if it starts to slow down soon. I’d imagine people are starting to get tight with their money.
Today marks day one for me at home from work, and day 24 for my girlfriend.
I have to admit, not going into work does make it all that much real. I knew going into work everyday was holding me back from getting a full grasp of what’s going on. The more time I have to think about it all, the more lost I feel.
How’d we get here?
I haven’t seen my mom in a week because I’m afraid I’ll make her sick. I can be told to go home by the police at any time or receive a $500 fine or worse. People are dying, and there’s no end in sight.
A lot of people believe, myself being one of them, that the worst is yet to come.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.
This whole thing is scary.
